quinta-feira, 15 de julho de 2010

Polemico - A tao temida Poligamia by Sehrish e Mishal

Caras (os) leitores!

Hoje o assunto eh BA-BA-DO! Na minha opiniao o MAIS POLEMICO e controverso de todos os relacionados a essa estoria de paquistanes & Cia Ltda: 

POLIGAMIA, que por sinal eh permitida por lei em paises muculmanos. 

Nossa amiga Sehrish, deu o parecer dela (que nasceu e foi criada aqui, portanto tem uma visao totalmente diferente da nossa) e uma breve explicacao de como funciona esse conceito de acordo com o Islam bem como eh o esquema aqui na Pakiland, jah que varia de pais para pais.

Bem, eu vou comentar o que eu penso sobre tudo isso abaixo (em ingles tosco, sorry in advance e se tiver muito errado, please, corrijam-me, by  the way, Rebecca Moka, help me please!), pra que ela possa participar tambem do "debate", jah que esse eh um assunto que definitivamente divide opinioes...TENSO!

Vamos ver o que ela tem a dizer?


Hi Readers!

 I am again here after a long time.

Today our topic is very interesting especially for those girls who want to marry with Paki boys. 

And the topic is “Concept Second Marriage in Islam” 

                                Foto: http://www.lebjournal.com
                Foto: google imagens

Well there is solid reason behind every decision of Allah (God). Many people (Non-Muslim/ Hindus) and even some of Muslims consider second marriage is not good act. Even Non-Muslims / Hindus do not accept second marriage in any case, while Muslims accept in some circumstances.

Now question is this, what are the reasons behind second marriage in Islam? Why Allah allow doing second marriage and why this limit is up to four marriages for Muslim male? 

Usually people do second marriage because of bad behavior of wives or do this if they fall in love with some other girl or for sake of kids. 

First two reasons are rendered void in Islam. Islam teaches us that handle women with love and care. Islam dislikes divorce. Both should safe their marriage as much as they can. Then doing second marriage just for love with another girl while you are already married is also void in Islam. 

If your wife is good with you, you have kids then it is void except if the girl whom you are going to marry is alone, or in some trouble or any other mishap is done with her you can marry her.

Now what reasons for second marriage Islam gave us? Islam allows 4 marriages. It is a permission but not mandatory. If a person’s wife is not good, or she died, or he wants kids but her first wife is not able to give birth, or her first wife is seriously ill etc. 

Due to these reasons a man can do second marriage. But it’s not necessary that for second marriage one of these reasons should be there. If you want to protect someone, or she is alone you can marry with her too. 

Even our Prophet (P.B.U.H) did 11 marriages. But every marriage gives us a message. Usually it is said that how can a man marry with a woman who is older than him? But the first marriage is of our Prophet (P.B.U.H) is with a woman who is 15 years older than him. By this act of our Prophet (P.B.U.H) it is tried that this is just a misconception nothing else. 

Secondly. You can even marry with girl smaller than you. Last wife of our Prophet is younger than him. She tied in Nikah with Prophet (P.B.U.H) in age of 8 years and starts living with him in age of 11 and become widow in age of 18 years. Similarly, there is a reason behind his every marriage. In Islam a girl is able for marriage as she get young (have her first periods). In ancient, girl had first periods in his parent’s home and second is in her in laws. But now this concept is changed due to many reasons. Now people want to grow and get educated. Women want to study, to earn money and so on.

Ok. So, let us back to our main topic “Second Marriage”. 

If a person has 2 marriages then he should pay equally rights to both. If he sleeps one night with one wife then he must have to sleep second night with second wife. If he selects one best thing for one, he should have select same for second and even if he has four wives he should have to pay his liabilities equally to altogether. 

There are many examples of second but successful marriages in Islam and Pakistan too. Both wives live in same house distributing work load of home equally and sharing love of their husband equally as well. On the other hand this practice also seen that second marriage destroy life of first wife. More than 80% women are possessive and they do not share his husband in any case. 

As her husband did second marriage as her married life is going to ruin. The main reason of failure of this marriage is when first wife is not accepting second marriage of her husband. One this I want to add here is for second marriage, consent of first wife is considers necessary.

Islam allows four marriages, but fake laws of our society do not allow more than one marriage. A man with two wives is not considers as a good person. He is said to be selfish, bluffer, non-sincere and many more like this. It is also said that a person who can leave his first wife he can also leave his second wife on any minor reason. No body tries to understand that person’s feelings. They also do not understand what Islam said to us and what is order of Allah.

If I specifically give opinion about second marriages I also against second marriage. If my husband wants to do this I obviously not allow him to do this because I am very possessive. This is totally matter of my heart. But if I use my mind and follow teaching of Islam then surely I will agree on my husband’s second marriage.

There are many people who are enjoying with one wife even without kids they do not intent to do second marriage because of just one reason that they love their wives very much and are not agree to hurt or leave them at any cost. In other case due to desire for kids or sometimes due to family (parents) pressure a man can lift this step.

Many foreign girls who want to marry Muslim or Pakistani boys are scared just because of second marriage that if their husband did second marriage then what would be their standing?

Dear girls…do not scare It’s a man’s right granted from Allah. If you really love your husband then you should love every thing which your husband likes. Although it is very difficult to accept but not impossible.

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Take Care
Sehrish Afzaal

 

Hi, Now It`s Mishal here...

First of all, thanx a lot Sehrish jani for sharing your opinion and knowledge with us :)

Well well welll..

To be 100% honest, this topic really gets on my nerves...Seriously! I try to be impartial, but NO WAY! This is a subject that I really disagree in any circumstance!

For me theres NOTHING in this universe that one can say that can justify a woman to accept another marriage of her husband, except if theres no love involved from any part and even so, for me it doesn't work at all because no one can be happy like this.

I can`t even imagine something like this without thinking about murdering someone lol. Yes, Im very very much possessive and selfish in this case. I know we have to share many things in life with people etc, but definitely NOT our HUSBAND, aff!

Now I`m gonna pick some sentences that Sehrish said and Im gonna argue and show also my personal opinion (what doesn`t means that is right or wrong, theek? )

- "If you want to protect someone, or she is alone you can marry with her too" 

For God`s sake do tell me, What do I have to do if the woman is ALONE? It`s her problem, Im not Mother Teresa of Calcutta to be sooo good at the point of sharing MY (exclusively MINE) husband with anyone else (now my blood is boiling just by thinking hihihi)...

For me this is nothing else than a shameless excuse used by men to make it seems "acceptable". Why do I have to sacrifice my own happiness on favor of a total unknown "alone" woman? Im sorry for her, but NO WAY!  For me she can die ALONE, I really dont care!

In Brazil we have a funny way to comment about this: Ema Ema Ema, cada um com seus problemas...lol


* If a person’s wife is not good
Ok, fine! It`s simple! Divorce her and everybody will be happy ;), because nobody is obligated to live with a BAD person, whatever if it`s man or woman. 

* or she died 
 In this case, theres nothing to do..Anyone can get another marriage after become widow..No problem. Normal thing even in west and other religions.

* Or he wants kids but her first wife is not able to give birth 
Again, if theres no love involved anymore, they can get divorce and he can get married again and have his kids if he thinks that it`s soooo mandatory. But if he marry a girl and keep his first wife, how can she lives with the guilt of not giving him any KID? How do you think she is gonna feel seeing that her beloved husband is having the kids that she dreamed so much for herself, with another woman? And the most important of all, wheres his love for her??? They can try many other methods before divorce or getting another wife. For me it`s nothing but SUFFERING AND TORTURE!

*  Or her first wife is seriously ill etc - Well, if shes SERIOUSLY ill, it`s the best time to show his love for her and give her all support she needs in so difficult times, isn`t? Otherwise, if he doesnt love her, get divorced or wait she dies in last case, then he can marry again.

 * If he sleeps one night with one wife then he must have to sleep second night with second wife 

Can I KILL now or I need to wait them finish they "intercourse" lol???? AFFFFFF..People please, just Imagine the scene: You the first one, the one who he promised to love forever, who he gave all his love and care, SUDDENLY you will be left behind and you will have to divide your husband with another girl that surely will do with him, everything he used to do with YOU. While you CRY desperately ALONE and destroyed in your room, hes enjoying with the other..Good nah??? Just think about that!

Many foreign girls who want to marry Muslim or Pakistani boys are scared just because of second marriage that if their husband did second marriage then what would be their standing? Dear girls…do not scare It’s a man’s right granted from Allah. If you really love your husband then you should love every thing which your husband likes. Although it is very difficult to accept but not impossible.

Sorry jani I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, but now I really have to disagree with you badly...

Dear foreigners girls, unless you have a "cockroach blood" and you are prone to be a servant, BE SCARED! Yes! You should be..First of all, you are already a "foreigner", "an alien" what is per se a big issue here...Secondly, second wives has no respect from society, imagine if shes foreigner...

And just to conclude my point of view, no one have to love everything that husband likes..NOT AT ALL! One should have their own opinion about everything and think with brain and marriage is all about LOVE, RESPECT (ABOVE ALL) and understanding, but from BOTH PARTS...If this thing will hurt me badly and deeply, WHY should I love this? And if my sooo loved husband is even thinking about getting another marriage, it means that he really doesn`t care about my feelings, right? So why do I have to be worried with his PLEASURE in this case? Naheen Naheen!

Notes:

* I believe that at our Prophet remote time (PBUH), things and conditions were very very different. So what was applicable in this sense at that time, due to many reasons behind this practice, is impossible to apply now. We can`t compare! Now I think the men use this excuse just for their own convenience and just to have "FRESH blood" and sex. What a shame!
* In some countries like in Africa if I`m not wrong, where poligamy is a normal practice even today, some woman do accept this thing as a very normal thing and don`t create any issue, it`s part of their culture and they are raised to accept this from beginning. Well, theres crazy people for everything nah lol?
* HOWEVER we can`t forget that in the rest of the world, MEN keep betraying a lot theirs wives (adultery), even with so far more than four women, but  it`s hidden and when the things comes to light, a lot of suffering will affect everyone involved...See that recent case of SOROCABA where the betrayed wife caught her BEST friend (???) in the act with her husband and they did a big BARRACO hehehe! And it happens every single minute, all the time, everywhere...So I can`t decide what is worst! If a man having a "legal" second wife or a man having many "secret" lovers...


Here I`ve found a website that explain this Polygamy thing in a more historical and technical way...Check it out

Anyway, my conclusion is: Most of MEN ARE SAME (not all of course, because theres sincere, honest and good character guys as well, It`s rare, but they exist) everywhere! Shameless by nature! Period!

Afff..Im sorry, I know it isn`t a technical argument, but that`s what I think about all this...Well, I said that it gets on my nerves hehehe!

Thats it!

Now please, leave your comment and don`t forget to visit the Sehrish`s website hein ;)


www.youngverses.weebly.com

42 comentários:

Sehrish disse...

Hahahaha,,,
I am still laughing to read Mishal’s comments…you seems so childish in this matter.
Anyways…Brief and short answer of all your questions are “TRUTH IS BITTER” it is really very hard to accept reality. We need and want many things and we want to run system in our own way despite rules are against our thinking and that is why we do not want to change our thinking. But truth never changed specially saying of ALLAH never every changed in any way. Many people including me against to second marriages. All women are possessive and do not want to share her husband with anyone else. So please do not BOIL your blood just calm and accept the reality…hihihihi.
Of course your are not Mother Teresa ;-) But Islam gave us lesson of equality, Islam teaches us to share your happiness with others and always help others. You know it is prediction By our religion that a time come when so many women remain unmarried even there will be 8 women married with single man and after this thousands women will still remain unmarried, That will be a time when there is sin every where. Do not you think that we are gradually moving towards the same time period…???
Then you said “Why do I have to sacrifice my own happiness??? Dear Mishal Islam is a religion to sacrifice for others happiness. Allah Tala has define two kinds of rights 1) Rights of Allah 2) Rights of Human being. And rights of human beings are more difficult with rights of Allah. We can offer prayer, fasting, pay zakat, go for Hajj for Allah. But we cannot make someone happy for sake of Allah. That is why it is said Rights of Human Beings are so difficult to perform. So woman has to sacrifice. Bitter but true.

sehrish disse...

“If a person’s wife is not good” First of All Allah said that prove your marriage as a good marriage. Moreover, it is also said that try your best to hold your marriages. So there is no concept of bad or good wife. Wife is wife and one has to pay her rights off. Besides this all even you have no problem with your wife, your have kids and you are happy from every side you can do 4 marriages as allowed in Islam. We make this fake reason of second marriage by our self.
There are many examples in own family. My uncle has no child, and he has family pressure of second marriage too but he did not do that. He still has one wife. According to Islam he can do second marriage but he is up to him that he will or will not.
One more example from my family, (one thing I like to share. Mostly people do second marriage for the sake of boy, as they do not like girls) One of my family members has 3 daughters. As per our society rules and Islamic permission he can do second marriage but he did not. But there are many people who did second marriages with out any reason. So these all are misconceptions, but Islam defines and allows second marriage of man.
Mishal you all augments are right but if we think possessively or being a selfish. Islam just tells us that man is allowed to do 4 marriages and man has to behave equally with all of her wives. That’s all! Please do not relate this reason to second marriage that man does second marriage for sex. There is every kind to people in our society. Good and Bad. Whose intention is wrong and who just want to do sex they people do not marry they just fulfill their lust. And those who have some solid reasons take this step. Even many people use teaching of Islam for their own benefit. Some do second marriages by saying this that Islam allows us but many people live with one wife. So it’s up to us that how we understand and follow teaching of Islam but unfortunately people follow teaching of Islam for their own benefit. If you think this matter from different aspects then we will get its answer by your self. In Islam purpose of marriage is to give protection to women in all aspects like legally, physically, and emotionally but not for sex or any kind of physical relation. That is the reason that Allah Tala do not like hidden marriages and stay it mandatory that there should be witness of marriages so not no can use his marriage for his own use. If a girl is in trouble and she is alone too. Anyone can misuse her or may be did hidden marriage with her and after that leave her. These kinds of issues create many societal problems. Now if the same girl is got married with a person either first or second wife she will be secured now. May be that person will not be consider good in society as he did second marriage but he is good near Allah. These things are hard to realize and understand but put effect on society.
Moral of this all story is “some things are true but bitter, even we do not want to accept them but we have to”

sehrish disse...

Please follow this link...
It is related to polygamy in Islamn...Secoond marriage

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy#Islam

Everyn Palhares disse...

Ai ai jani, we will discuss this FOREVER but and I`ll always come around to the same point...

First of all Im not saying that a man cant do 2, 3, 4 10000 marriages or as much as he can afford (he needs to be richhhhh hein hihihi or atleast a handsome guy lol), but the point is..HE NEED TO DIVORCE his first wife first...BECAUSE ITS IMPOSSIBLE to survive HAPPILY this way...Sooner or later it will be problem..When kids comes, it will be problem (I heard that "half-brothers" normally hate each other because they stands for their own mothers of course). And no one can expect that the wives will be BEST FRIENDS FOREVER because they will be not...In my case just FOR EXAMPLE (GOD FORBID affff), she should be afraid whenever she was going to have a meal, because surely I would put a daily portion of ZEHER (veneno in urdu) in it hahahah...Plus, her life would be a HELL in my hands for sure! I`m not even ashamed to say that because Im sooo sure of that and cant avoid being realistic!

What I see is that normally what happens here, is that some women do accept to live an unhappy life with their husbands and they let everyone hurts her, first because they are super MOKAS a lot, second because they cant afford themselve$$$..They are Dependants on his money and specially in Pakistan, it`s very difficult to find a job bla bla..Plus, they face a loooot of problems with the stupid narrow mind of society, so in the end, some ends by accepting, because they have NO CHOICE! But it doesnt means that they are happy at all..NOBODY in this world can divide Love equally between wives..He can even get along, but Im sure that he doesnt love none of them in the end, because if he does, he surely will show more love to the favorite one...FACT!

And by the way, WHY THE HELL some men want to have more than one wife if just ONE is already problem enough hahahaha... Cada uma!

But THANX GOD this practice is going DOWN day by day and most of the people who I know here, live a happily with his SINGLE wife...My father in law is married for 30 years with his wife and even she doesnt care that much if he gets another woman or not, he never wanted...

I hope his son will be straightforward like his father =D lol

Everyn Palhares disse...
Este comentário foi removido pelo autor.
kurati disse...

very clear explanation sehrish.
i disagree with polygamy,its so expensive to have one wife....can you imagine four?All the muslim guys are rich ?
I just have a idea.I go to pakistan and become rich .I will create the first RENT wifes agency.Then when a muslim guy or pakistan dude ,needs a new wife,he will can rent,and be married just for a period of time.When he get tired of the lady,we do the divorce and the lady will be free to be rent again....
I know its like prostitution ,but who cares?We share happyness to the muslim mankind.

Ok now seriously...Its look like Allah did not meet any feminist yet...

Yaser disse...

I absolutely agree with what is written by Sehrish..

Others who disagree needing lots of time to growup and understand who is childish

Ursinhu da Juh =] disse...

GOD forbid and forbid share my husband with someone. It's not about childishness, simply NOT ACCEPT THAT'S HOW. But one thing is not to discuss the Quran allow this allowed. It is now common sense of the Muslim husband does not want to hurt his wife at this point, primarily because the woman must be unloved and nobody is obliged to live under one roof of the OTHER, there's blood cheap, impossible!!

Ursinhu da Juh =] disse...

DEUS que me livre e me guarde de dividir meu marido com alguem. Nao é questao de infantilidade, simplismente NAO HÁ COMO ACEITAR ISSO. Mas uma coisa nao há como discutir se o Alcorao permitiu esta permitido. Cabe agora ao bom senso do marido muculmano nao querer magoar a esposa a este ponto, porque primeiramente a mulher deve ter amor proprio e ninguem é obrigada a conviver embaixo do mesmo teto da OUTRA, haja sangue de barata, impossivel!!!!

Coloquei em portugues tambem porque meu ingles é pessimo estou lááá no comecinho aprendendo ainda =/ Desculpa

Everyn Palhares disse...

Yaser - Soooo convenient nah??? Just imagine if the case was the opposite?

Yaser disse...

well, if case was opposite, i would let my husband having tons of wives...

Everyn Palhares disse...

Well, so we have the first GAY case here hihihihi

Yaser disse...

As i said, these childish ppl needing to growup, GAYS dont have wives

Anônimo disse...

E porque els não permitem que a mulher case com + de um homem, se o homem não a satisfizer financeiramente ou como mulher mesmo?? Resp: porque existe muito + mulher do q homens, e ser solteira nesses países mulçumanos é uma vergonha. Então é só questão de cultura mesmo, não tem nada a v com amor,e nem adianta discutir com um mulçumano sobre isso, pq essses "ensinamentos" estão plantados em suas cabeças desde sempre. meio q inventaram isso: não é pecado, DEus permite...afff nada a v,essa galera tá vivendo com um pensamento do começo do mundo...Helooo o

kurati disse...

Realmente a cultura dos países muçulmanos é difícil de se entender com nossa mente ocidental cristã.Isso só vai mudar quando essa maioria de mulheres começarem a enxergar possibilidades e largar a vidinha submissa e a religião,migrando para outros países(e conhecendo homens menos allah).Mas parece que está todo mundo feliz assim,e se está bem para ambas as partes...vamos voltar para o nosso mundo ocidental,que aos nossos olhos é muito mais civilizado!!!!!!!!!!

Mel disse...

POde ser em portugues ne Eve?
Eu como sempre falo tenho nojo,asco,horror a homens que traem suas esposas e isso realmente acontece em qualquer lugar,cultura,religiao.Oque pega aqui eh o islam permitir,dai os muculmanos se sentem no direito,e adoram usar desse "direito".
Ao meu ver eh ridiculo e inaceitavel,nao existe motivos que me fizesse aceitar dividir meu marido com outra,pior entao,eu sendo a segunda,tipo,te amo,vamos casar e vou tedar tudo que a "OUTRA|tem,eu morreria,nem que nao amasse meu marido e estivesse com ele por outros motivos,o casamento no islam tem outros sentidos que nao sao os meus entao.
Eu discordo de muitas coisas do islam,do cristianismo que sao as religioes que mais conheco,acho que tem coisas que nao valem pra essa nossa epoca,mas infelismente nao se pode mudar isso,resta nos aceitar e seguir ou nao,eu nao aceito e nao sigo,se meu marido um dia quiser se casar com outra nos divorciamos,simples,mato ele depois claro e esta tudo resolvido.Eu me amo e tenho valor,jamais posso aceitar essa regra do islam.

Neide Barbosa disse...

Inadmissível...
Deus me livre e guarde!!!

Qatar Cat disse...

Sehrish... I think you are the childish. Because you do not accept others point of view when they are different than yours.

You need to see that Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) had a very different life than we have now. And in our arabian way of life men used to die frequently in batles against the other tribes. So, many women were left behind with kids to raise and no work and no money because arabia women used to take care of the food and kids, and the sheeps and the tents... So once they were widow, what was left for them and their kids? Nothing. So thats why the prophet Muhammad (SAWS) encouraged other men to marry a second time. He was right, totaly right. But now, we are not bedouins anymore, and other people outside arabia never were. So we can't live as if we are bedouins. Now our countries changed a lot. And this thing doesn't apply now.

Now, a man MUST have a good reason before entering a second marriage and his wife has to agree.

And I do think you are innocent when you say " If you really love your husband then you should love every thing which your husband likes."
That's wrong. First you need to love yourself. And then you husband. I agree with the Quraan when it says we need to be vistuous women. But the Quraan itself says "Virtuous women are for virtuous men".

If your husband is a killer, a theaf, bad man he is a KAFR! No woman need a Kafr man. And you don't need to love him.
I'm afraid you will have a surprise when you marry and see that life isn't like in the days of the prophet anymore.

Salam 3leikom!

Mariachiquinha disse...

Já faz algum tempo que eu comentei sobre a poligamia no Islam. Pois bem, somos seres culturais. Nascemos, vivemos de acordo com uma cultura. Por mais viajado que sejamos, acabamos reproduzindo a cultura na qual fomos educados.

Sendo assim, é muit raro encontrar uma brasileira que aceite "numa boa" que seu marido tenha uma segunda esposa. Em geral, somos egoísta sim. Agora, não acredito que seja tão dificil para uma brasileira aceitar ser a segunda esposa, afinal, vivemos numa cultura onde muitos maridos tem as suas amantes, portanto ser segunda esposa seria mais digno do ser chamada de "a amante".

É sabido porém, que as leis islâmica sempre devem se adequar as leis do país em questão, ou seja, aqui no Brasil um muçulmano pode ter mais de uma esposa, mas casar legalmente somente com a primeira, somos um país laico e monogâmico. Mas as nossas leis também reconhece direitos às pessoas que vivem maritalmente, ou seja, um relacionamento extra-conjugal. Um advogado é sempre a pessoa mais indicada para esse tipo de assunto.

Mariachiquinha disse...

Eu não sei ingles, por isso recorro ao wesite translater, mas não faço nem ideia do que esta escrito aí abaixo ... hehehehee
.....................

I do not know English, so I turn to the wesite translator, but I do not even know what is written there below



Long time ago, I commented about polygamy in Islam. Well, we are cultural beings. We are born, we live by a culture. As much as we traveled, we reproduce the culture in which we were educated.

Therefore, it is very rare to find a Brazilian who accepted "in good" that her husband has a second wife. In general, we are rather selfish. Now, do not think it's so hard to accept being a Brazilian's second wife, after all, we live in a culture where many husbands have their lovers, so be second wife would be more worthy of being called a "mistress."

It is known however, that Islamic laws should always fit the laws of the country concerned, or here in Brazil a Muslim can have more than one wife, legally married but only with the first, we are a secular country and monogamous. But our laws also recognizes rights to people living as husband, or an extra-marital relationship. A lawyer is always the best person for this kind of topic.

Anônimo disse...

You know what is funny? I am sure the second wife is more beautiful and younger than the first one! Nobody wants to marry a fat, toothless, ugly and old woman. Lol, lol, lol.
Seriously now: Who believes it is possible to love the same way more than one women? It is not a matter of selfishness. Can the husbands share their wives too? I don't think so...

sehrishafzaal disse...

See...First of ALL divorce is not liked by Allah. It is a tool but not a solution.Suppose a man loves her fisrt wife but due to some very very important reasons thet have to do secong mariage then what do u think that should he leave his first wife???Obviously no. Secondly, Pkai women are so great and had huge morale...they accept to share theie husband their lobe but they still want name of their husband just to survive in this socirty. We make this socirty by our living bur our own making rules.noew we have to bear these rules. I explained earlier that it is not possible to run societal operation with our own desire...somethins are bitter but true and we have to accept them.
I agree to yaser...you people are need to grow up yur thinking in this matter...As i saw many practicle examples of second marriages so my view is very broad. You people taking this matter very little in which your possesiveness is included.
If there is any other question then please tell me.
polygamy is not fobiddein in Islam. Even hindus are against of second marraige but now they are gradually moving towards it.My question is all of you ir your husbnad did secong marry and wants to divorce you at any cost when you are not to be divorced then what you will do????
Follow me at www.youngverses.blogspot.com

sehrish disse...

@QATAR
YOU are quite right...you said things are totally changed as they were in era in our Prophet (P.B.U.H). But purpose is still same to protect women.either it is widow or unmarried and so on.

There is no reality of love yourself in islam. It is called selfishness. When you just think about yourself and forget about other. And there is also no relationship between this thing and that verse that virtous women are for virtous men.
Islam made women is a statue of love, sacrifice.And if you try to find reason of happiness of any good couple. therte must be sacrifice from women not from men...even not at all.It is also bitter but treue that women play an important rule to make her family by their love and sacrifice.
And in case when husband ki going towards KUFAR...then women can leave him despite she love him very much and do not want to leave him.because islam do not like kufar.it is duty of women to tell him what is true and what is wrong if her husband still doing bad and he is doing kufar then she have to first think about herself than others.

Everyn Palhares disse...

Ai ai..I have soooo many things to say, but right now I got very busy and I cant argue...

But surely later I`ll be back here and expose once again my opinion

But for now Im gonna say just one thing:

If God really wanted men to have 4 wives, HE had created 1 ADAN and 4 EVAS ;)

Ursinhu da Juh =] disse...

A Everyn tem toda razao a familia é um plano de DEUS e ELE a constituiu de uma mulher um homen e filhos. Quem conrrompeu alguma coisa aqui foi o proprio homem com seu coração e mente malicioso e pecaminoso. Deus criou UM ADAO E UMA EVA ELE nao fez um arem de EVAS para ADAO. Eu sei que a questao aqui nao é a BIBLIA e sim o ALCORAO, mas esta tambem é tida como livro sagrado. Na BIBLIA por exemplo vemos varios casos onde profetas e homens de DEUS se casaram com mais de uma mulher. E DEUS nos mostra atravez desse exemplo que suas vidas nao foram bem sucedidas, e nos mostra tambem como tamanha era confusao que havia dentro da familia devido a quantidade de esposas, onde uma tinha inveja e provocava a outra, onde mostrava claramente o amor do marido maior com uma do que com outra e assim vai. É isso que acontece quando o homem SAI DO PROPOSITO DE DEUS. Quando algo nao é de DEUS tudo começa dar errado, é uma confusao sem fim.
Mas do jeito que esta andando a conversa aqui eu estou meio que entendendo que o muculmano casa-se com uma segunda esposa mais por dó, ou do que outra coisa, embora todo mundo saiba que o pensamento do homem de hoje nao é bem esse vai. Porem esse segundo casamento deve ter o consentimento da primeira esposa, cabendo entao a estas se segurar nessa parte na sura e nao consentir de jeito nenhum porque fica claro aqui que só se ela for muito sei la o que e conseguir viver em plena paz com isso que ira consentir com uma coisa dessas.

Ursinhu da Juh =] disse...

Mas vamos ver o aque o Alcorao diz:
Sura 4:3 "Se temerdes ser injustos no trato com os órfãos, podereis desposar duas, três ou quatro das que vos aprouver, entre as mulheres. Mas, se temerdes não poder ser equitativos para com elas, casai, então, com uma só, ou conformai-vos com o que tender à mão. Isso é o mais adequado, para evitar que cometais injustiças.

Sura 4:129 "Não podereis, jamais, ser equitativos com vossas esposas, ainda que nisso vos empenheis. Por essa razão, não declineis demasiadamente uma delas, deixando-a como se estivesse abandonada; porém, se vos reconciliardes e temerdes, sabei que Deus é Indulgente, Misericordiosíssimo.

O proprio Alcorao esta dizendo que JAMAIS PODEREIS SER EQUITATIVOS COM VOSSAS ESPOSAS, ou seja ISSO SIGNIFICA QUE O PROPRIO PROFETA DIZ QUE O HOMEM NAO É CAPAZ DE SER OU TRATAR IGUALMENTE (SER EQUITATIVO)AS ESPOSAS, E UM HOMEM QUE NAO PODE SER EQUITATIVO COM SUAS ESPOSAS CONSEQUENTEMENTE SEGUNDO O PROPRIO ALCORAO NAO PODERA TER UM SEGUNDO CASAMENTO.
Mas agora é que vem o Problema que surge a duvida que e que somente um estudioso eu acredito podera nos explicar. Afinal de contas o Alcorao permite ou nao permite o casamento com mais de uma esposa?
Por isso que algumas mulheres se aguarram eu algumas suras enquanto os homens interessados em casar de novo por interesse particular ou sei la o que se prendem a permissao de casar com ate 4 esposas mas se esquecem de 2 condiçoes. 1- a primeira mulher deve consentir com isso
2- Ele deve ser EQUITATIVO em TUDO com as esposas, coisa que o Alcorao nos mostra JAMAIS SER POSSIVEL.

Marcmel disse...

Eu não quero "speakar" in english hoje, tudo bem?!! Mas Mishal a unica coisa que concordo com você, além de tudo que você disse é : Ema, Ema, Ema cada um com seus problemas...Esse negócio (feio) de dividir meu maridinho(quando Deus me der um)com outras mulheres dizendo ser esposas dele também não entra na minha cabeça nem em um milhão de anos! Deus só fez a Eva para a Adão e só um Adão para a Eva. Os dois se tornariam em uma só carne, já pensou uma carne dividida em tantas pessoas ao mesmo tempo??? (Sem lógica pra mim). Não é possível que o nível de testosterona dos orientes sejam mais aguçados que os do ocidente...rsrs.É sem nenhum preconceito quanto à religião, mas pra mim essa idéia não cola mesmo!!

Marcmel!

Everyn Palhares disse...

Macmel...

O problema como eu disse no texto, eh que no ocidente o negocio eh ainda PIOR, pq eh ADULTERIO messsmo com uma, duas, tres, 4, 5, 6, 500 mulheres...

Entao o lance nao eh ocidente e oriente, o lance eh com o tal bicho homem mesmo aff!

Anônimo disse...

FIRST OF ALL:
"Mostly people do second marriage for the sake of boy, as they do not like girls) One of my family members has 3 daughters. As per our society rules and Islamic permission he can do second marriage but he did not."

hahahaha even if he marry other woman he will keep "producing" girls... everybody knows men are XY and women XX dear! ALLAH forgive me BUT Islam and pakis don't know about genetics i think. lol

Second, i wanna see a muslim marry a fat, old widow cause she is sooo alone and "Islam teaches us to share your happiness with others and always help others." lol hahahaha

Now a question: If i accept the second marriage am i "growing up" or "coming back" to this old mentality? lol

That's all

Lynn Gamal disse...

Actually, what I really think is that this rule in Islam forget about the woman's feelings, because some muslims do say that their wives are "happy" sharing the husband, but WHO KNOWS???
You know, in Islam, a good wife is the one who keeps the couple's secrets, she can't claim about her marriage because it's a sin.
Some women have to accept their husbands decisions without say a thing, because a cool wife is the one who obeys her husband right??
Anyway, I guess this used to be ok for the prophet age, but nowadays this is not acceptable anymore.
And some guys marry till the 4th time, just using this rule as an excuse to have some sex legaly( as they can't have sex out of the marriage), Oh and one thing more, If the guy wants to marry other woman, nobody askes him what are the reasons for the marriage, because if he is lying, saying is to help an alone lady, none will be against that, but who knows his REAL reasons? can be just because he is bored with his first wife, as she is getting old and sex with her isn't that cool as used to be... I guess you muslims are sooo innocent, believing that a man wouldn't ever marry just because of sex, and believe, men think about sex everyday and everyhow, or Wouldn't you say that girls should cover theirselves, cause the men are weak?? Sorry if this point is against the paki girl who wrote this article, but generally muslims don't like to think something against the Islamic doutrine, because they are afraid of being in the hell, and when someone wants to show that not all the things in Islam are correct they answer you like "because God wanted to be in this way,or are u saying that God is wrong?"
Well, I guess thinking and wonder themselves(muslims) won't hurt a bit. For me is just a matter of thinking a little bit wiser... anyway this is just my point of view.

Neide Barbosa disse...

Razões da Permissibilidade da
Poligamia no Islam

Todos os mandamentos da religião do Islam são de Deus, o Sábio, e disso se conclui que todas as coisas que são permitidas são devido ao fato de que seus benefícios para o indivíduo e a sociedade superam seus prejuízos. Ao analisar as razões e resultados da permissibilidade da poligamia, se verá que as normas da religião do Islam são aquelas que verdadeiramente se adéquam a todas as épocas e lugares, uma vez que a sua fonte é Deus Todo-Poderoso, o Sábio e Que Tudo Conhece.

Como o Alcorão indica (4:3), a questão da poligamia no Islã é entendida à luz das obrigações da comunidade em relação aos órfãos e viúvas. O Islã, como uma religião universal que é adequada para todos os tempos e lugares, não pode ignorar essas obrigações.

A poligamia islâmica trata dos problemas sociais da prostituição e relações extra-conjugais comuns no Ocidente. Ao invés de trair – a infidelidade é uma das principais razões para divórcio no Ocidente – o Islã permite a um homem casar com mais de uma esposa, com pleno reconhecimento dos direitos de ambas. O princípio básico no Islã é que os homens são responsáveis por seu comportamento em relação às mulheres assim como as mulheres são responsáveis por seu comportamento em relação aos homens.

O número de mulheres no mundo excede o de homens. O excesso é resultado da morte de homens em guerras e crimes violentos, e ao fato das mulheres viverem mais que os homens. O aumento da homossexualidade aumenta ainda mais o problema. Bertrand Russel escreveu, “E em todos os países onde existe um excesso de mulheres é uma injustiça óbvia que aquelas que por necessidade aritmética devam permanecer solteiras, sejam totalmente privadas de experiência sexual.” A poligamia, então, é a única solução responsável para essa situação desagradável.
Fonte: http://www.islamismo.org/razao_poligamia.htm

Marcmel disse...

Eu quis dizer com relação a permissividade...Conversei com um amigo Paquistanês essa semana e ele me disse que isso acontece com os homens que podem realmente "bancar" com todas essas mulheres, além do que isso quase já não acontece mais..mas é melhor não me alongar nisso...

Carol disse...

poligamia, eh nojeto, eh palhacada, eh motivo para o cara de dar bem e sair pegando todas affffffff
concordo com vc Eve, num tah feliz se divorcia, ne? aff povo complicado
o que he meu ninguem toca, quer ter outra? ok.. tb terei outro!

Iseedeadpeople disse...

É incrível como o Islã, sob a desculpa de "proteger" as mulheres, dá espaço para estes absurdos em pleno século XXI!

A melhor "proteção" que uma mulher pode receber é RESPEITO, como pessoa capaz, inteligente e PRODUTIVA, que não precisa se "escorar" num macho pra ser alguém!


Sou a chefe da minha família, atualmente sustento meu marido enqto ele resolve o processo de imigração dele e tenho muito ORGULHO de ser independente e tocar minha vida do jeito que eu quero!

Iseedeadpeople disse...

It's unbelievable how Islam under the guise of "protecting" women, leaves room for such nonsense in the XXI century!

The best "protection" that a woman can receive is RESPECT, as a person capable, intelligent and productive that do not need to "anchor" in a male to be somebody!


I am the boss of my family,Im supporting my husband while he is solving the immigration process and I'm very proud to be independent and do my life the way I want - without stupid traditions !!!

Iseedeadpeople disse...

Me fala que eu não li isso, por favor:

"If you really love your husband then you should love every thing which your husband likes. Although it is very difficult to accept but not impossible."

Como é possível existirem mulheres tão capachos assim? sem qualquer personalidade, sem individualidade, fadadas a serem sempre sombras e propriedades dos homens. Muito triste isso, realmente lamentável!Eu preferia morrer do que ter uma vida triste destas, sinceramente!

Anônimo disse...

Se eu devo amar tudo de que o meu marido gosta, devo tornar-me lésbica? Tenho que rir para não chorar...

Anônimo disse...

Woman who accepts polygamy is a woman without dignity and self-respect.
Unfortunately, most muslim women are weak and submissive.

Anônimo disse...

Darling above, most of the muslim women don't agree with polygamy.

Leda Silveira disse...

Meu Deus! Com todo respeito. Estou assombrada...Não sei o que é pior, a traição discarada (no oriente) ou a traição escondida (no ocidente)
Valei-me Nosso Senhor.
Depois dessa, desanimei. Estou gostando muito de um Paquistanês e tenho trocado correspondências pela net. Ele quer porque quer que eu me encontre com ele no Texas EUA. se diz apaixonado e que "não muda a mente" e que quer me ver a todo custo.Ele gosto de mulheres mais velhas e a nossa diferença de idade.. Allah!!!! é muito grande. Eu? Depois dessa? vou ficar quietinha aqui mesmo na minha insignificância. Dividir? jamé.Quero ser do homem que eu amo, para o homem que eu amo e do homem que eu amo, quero o mesmo. Amor, respeito,companheirismo, cumplicidade e dividir sim, de forma recíproca o amor um do outro. Nada de descambar para esse absurdo de Islãm que pode reunir um harém em torno de sí.Ó, e vou dizer mais...Eu me sinto feliz sendo brasileira, me casei uma vez, casamento não deu certo? Separei. Casei duas vezes, casamento não deu certo? separei...(periodos de 8 anos cada) me uni ainda mais uma vez...não deu certo? Tchau. Toda essa bagagem de experiência conjugal que trago comigo, só reafirma uma coisa: Enquanto existir amor e respeito,o amor é eterno. Ficar amargando, bebendo fel? Afff... pára né?!

Ma disse...

Só uma coisa: a mulher é viuva, com filhos, todos desamparados e blablabla coitada dela blabla, ou sozinha, blabla, vai virar indigente coitada e mais bla.
Ok, super concordo que não é justo voce ter o que comer todo dia enquanto alguem está la passando necessidade.
Mas, tem que casar pra fazer caridade tem?
Não pode ajudar de longe? Prover o sustento dessa familia por bondade?
Pra mim casamento por esse motivo nada mais é do que prostituição. A mulher ta trocando alimentação, proteção, ajuda, por sexo!
Ah, mais ela tem necessidades carnais? e tem que ser com o marido dos outros? Pra mim isso é ser piriguete! Se ela quer ter prazer sexual ela nao necessariamente precisa do homem das outras pra isso.
Novamente: Nao é necessario casar (e consequentemente ter sexo) pra ajudar alguem!

--
Only one thing: the woman is a widow with children, them all are poor helpless and blablabla. Or she is alone, will turn indigent, poor her, she needs someone, and more blabla.
Ok, i totally agree that it is not fair if you have things to eat every day while there is someone in need.
But, do you have to marry to do charity?
Aren't you able to help from afar? Provide the maintenance of the family for goodness?
For me marriage for this reason is nothing more than prostitution! The woman is exchanging food, protection and help for sex!
Oh, does she have carnal needs? Ok, but does she needs to fix it with husband of others? For me it is to be a bitch! If she wants to have sexual pleasure she does not necessarily needs a man of others.
Again: NO ONE need to marry (and thus have sex) to help someone!

Dayse's World disse...

How about my case?
Im very very attracted for Pakistanis...and yes one day I will find one Inshallah!!!! Has been 4 times I try to get a Pakistani and I end up with a wrong guy, one was a guy from Moltan, he was a lawyer and he wanted because he wanted marry me but only to live in USA, so I told him good bye, the second one lives in UK and wanted a secret relationship, means nobody would know untill we married, so I also say good bye, third was a cute, well sucess pakistani guy living in California, we did be together for 5 months and I was geting ready to move to California where he lives( I live in Hawaii), until 2 weeks ago surprised his "wife" called me, I discovered he was married at the same week to a 20 years old girl,with a secret Nikah because she was still divorcing her first husband who was residing in Pakistan, any way I dont have to say the drama, drama,drama ( I will tell the whole story another day if Mishal let me, lol!)about 3 days ago this cute guy who is in Pakistan, he is 28 years old, engeener eletronic, from Rawpindin...well we was talking and his sound so so sweet, he opem his webcam and introduce me to every body in his house, but than surprise again....he was very sincere, he told me he live in Seattle, washigtin state, he was on student Visa, but now is expired... Well I was going to opem my mouth to say: "sorry cant bring you here becouse Im a immigrant too" he told me before I could opem my mouth: " well there is this problem will see... I have this lady who knows his family ( and his show photos of her with his family, his siter who also speaks english translation what the parents say about her)she was the one who gave him room and board when he was in USA and she had visit his family( who adores her) she is 44 converted muslim, she is marring him to give him a greencard. He and his family ask me if I would marry him if his marry her, they would live in separeted houses and off corse he would come live with me in Hawaii, but I had to acept to be a co-wife, the lady after would divorced him on civil but would keep her Islamic divorced with him, both tells me they love eachother only as a friend. I not gonna lie Im tempted to give a try, but also Im confused to beome a co wife( at least for 3 years, and yes will not be sexual realtion with him and his first wife because) but have things who makes me confused like she wants to keep the islamic marriage, and she will move to Pakistan to live with his family...Im affrai of this will end up his family liking her better than me. So I dont know, I really dont...I want to meet him better but he is only want to communiated if it is towards marriage, I know his is not playing games because he told me right on the beggining he didnt hide it. he even ask me if I know someone in Pakistan becouse they could call him and his family to check his authenticity and se he is not a lier. Im confused..and yes I want get married have been 3 years that I strugle by myself with no husband( Im not talking about just sexually nescessety)and I really dont want to stay and wait becouse I want have more kids, Inshallah, so what I should do at least keep communicating and see what leads to? or say Good bye to this one too? Help!!!!!

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