Casamento arranjado x Casamento por amor

Bem, creio que esse seja um dos mais esperados e polemicos assuntos para aquelas que amam um paquistanes ou alguem de qualquer outra nacionalidade onde a cultura dos casamentos arranjados impere.

Eu muitas vezes ja tive ataques de ira por conta desse assunto....Nao entendo e nao aceito a ideia...Nao entra na minha cabeca...Period!!!

Eu ateh concordo com o " nao ter contato fisico antes do casamento" e tals, mesmo porque isso pode evitar uma serie de problemas...Mas deixar que a familianca TODAAAAAAAA (pai, mae, tios, vizinhos, cachorro, periquito, papagaio decidam com quem voce tem que casar, pra mim eh inaceitavel...Mas infelizmente eh assim que funciona por aqui e nao acredito que isso va mudar nunca...

Eh sem duvida a maior pedra no sapato das firangis hahahaha...


Mas mesmo assim, em alguns poucos casos, dependendo do poder de persuasao do paquistanes, eles conseguem impor sua vontade, peitam a familia e acabam casando com quem eles querem...Como sempre neh, para os homens eh tudo sempre mais facil, em todo lugar do mundo...Jah as mulheres...Bem, ja conhecemos a historia de cor e salteado neh...Nem precisa repetir...

Aqui o artigo muito esclarecedor de nossa ameegue Sehrish, que inclusive, numa rarissima excecao, conseguiu fazer a familia dela aceitar o casamento dela por amor (embora eles nao saibam disso e pensam que foi arranjado hihihi)...

Enjoy e vamos discutir sobre isso???

Asalam-o-Alikum & Hi Readers!

I hope that you people are doing great. Well I am fine too.

 In this article I want to discuss bitter truth of our lives in fact Paki life. I want to explain this through a small sentence that “We are still not allowed to choose our life partner”

Yeah it’s true, in Pakistan kids of more than 80% families are not allowed their kids to choose their life partners by their self. They have to obey their parents and accept a person to whom they choose his/her life partner. There are many negative consequences of it. 

First, couple does not able to develop understanding till end of their life even they have kids but due to lake of understanding kids are totally spoiled.

 Secondly, if a girl or boy already involved in some one then they can not put his/her full attention towards his life partner or can not able to perform his/her responsibilities. Mostly, girls did compromise not for their good life but for the sake of her parents respect. So that her parents are not is dis-respected in society. 

Love marriages are not appreciated. Although Islam gave us a right to choose our life partner but this is not supported by our society and those girls or boys did love marriages they are not considered to be a good person.

 I myself do not know that what the reason behind it is? When Islam allows us to choose our life partner then why our society does not allow??? Islam just allows agreeness of boy and girl for each other as to become a life partner. Islam does not allow to meet before marriage or to spend time with each another and so on. 

At the time of marriage it is asked (by parents) from the girl that are you agree on this relation? In any circumstances answer should be yes, but unfortunately it is just a formality…Suppose if girl says no I am not agree then it is also considers very bad in fact it is like a sin for our elders.

Although we are educated, we are earning but we are still dependent on our parents or relatives. Sometimes we even can not take decisions by our self. Our parents or relative decided that what we should have to wear, what should we eat, where should we go and to whom we should accept as a life partner and so on.

 Sometimes I thought that education can not change the person, his thoughts, his good deeds, his company of friends and his way of living brings change in him. In same way we can not change our old traditions. The main reason of this is our misconceptions.

 For example, here in Pakistan people do not do any task for their own satisfaction. They always care about other that’s what if do this what other people think about us…If we do not do this then what people think about us…If we are living for people then what we are..???What is our identity…and if we are nothing then why we are getting education…why e=we are running for better living standards…???

 Usually people consider this bookish words..they think that there is nothing in reality….This all is illusion and looks good just in books. But it is not…we have to change our thinking we have to change way of our living…We are living in 21 century…is our thinking our acts matches the requirements of 21 century..??? No…never…!!! We need to improve our self…we have to give freedom to our kids…we have to give them right to choose well and bad for their self. Even here kids are bound to study those subjects which their parents want…If a kid want to be a doctor and his parents wants to be him Engineer then he will be Engineer because his parents wants. For this reason, mostly students get spoiled; they leave studies, or decrease their interest towards studies. It right those parents have right on their kids but Allah (God) has given us right to choose good and bad for our self. 

In my point of view, arrange marriages had only one advantage, in case of quarrels and misunderstanding among husband and wife, they are not sole responsible for it. They can easily say that my parents choose life partner for me now they will solve my problem. In this way they easily put burden of their irresponsibility’s to their parents. But in case of love marriage you are sole responsible of all good and bad. 

Another advantage of arrange marriage is that parents choose life partner for their kids in light of their experience. In this way many problems can be avoided. But this strategy not always works. 

Sometimes our experience bluffs us. I wish that Allah (God) give me strength to change negative thinking of people.

Take Care!

Sehrish

Regards!