Caras (os) leitores!
Hoje o assunto eh BA-BA-DO! Na minha opiniao o MAIS POLEMICO e controverso de todos os relacionados a essa estoria de paquistanes & Cia Ltda:
POLIGAMIA, que por sinal eh permitida por lei em paises muculmanos.
Nossa amiga Sehrish, deu o parecer dela (que nasceu e foi criada aqui, portanto tem uma visao totalmente diferente da nossa) e uma breve explicacao de como funciona esse conceito de acordo com o Islam bem como eh o esquema aqui na Pakiland, jah que varia de pais para pais.
Bem, eu vou comentar o que eu penso sobre tudo isso abaixo (em ingles tosco, sorry in advance e se tiver muito errado, please, corrijam-me, by the way, Rebecca Moka, help me please!), pra que ela possa participar tambem do "debate", jah que esse eh um assunto que definitivamente divide opinioes...TENSO!
Vamos ver o que ela tem a dizer?
Hi Readers!
I am again here after a long time.
Today our topic is very interesting especially for those girls who want to marry with Paki boys.
And the topic is “Concept Second Marriage in Islam”
Well there is solid reason behind every decision of Allah (God). Many people (Non-Muslim/ Hindus) and even some of Muslims consider second marriage is not good act. Even Non-Muslims / Hindus do not accept second marriage in any case, while Muslims accept in some circumstances.
Now question is this, what are the reasons behind second marriage in Islam? Why Allah allow doing second marriage and why this limit is up to four marriages for Muslim male?
Usually people do second marriage because of bad behavior of wives or do this if they fall in love with some other girl or for sake of kids.
First two reasons are rendered void in Islam. Islam teaches us that handle women with love and care. Islam dislikes divorce. Both should safe their marriage as much as they can. Then doing second marriage just for love with another girl while you are already married is also void in Islam.
If your wife is good with you, you have kids then it is void except if the girl whom you are going to marry is alone, or in some trouble or any other mishap is done with her you can marry her.
Now what reasons for second marriage Islam gave us? Islam allows 4 marriages. It is a permission but not mandatory. If a person’s wife is not good, or she died, or he wants kids but her first wife is not able to give birth, or her first wife is seriously ill etc.
Due to these reasons a man can do second marriage. But it’s not necessary that for second marriage one of these reasons should be there. If you want to protect someone, or she is alone you can marry with her too.
Even our Prophet (P.B.U.H) did 11 marriages. But every marriage gives us a message. Usually it is said that how can a man marry with a woman who is older than him? But the first marriage is of our Prophet (P.B.U.H) is with a woman who is 15 years older than him. By this act of our Prophet (P.B.U.H) it is tried that this is just a misconception nothing else.
Secondly. You can even marry with girl smaller than you. Last wife of our Prophet is younger than him. She tied in Nikah with Prophet (P.B.U.H) in age of 8 years and starts living with him in age of 11 and become widow in age of 18 years. Similarly, there is a reason behind his every marriage. In Islam a girl is able for marriage as she get young (have her first periods). In ancient, girl had first periods in his parent’s home and second is in her in laws. But now this concept is changed due to many reasons. Now people want to grow and get educated. Women want to study, to earn money and so on.
Ok. So, let us back to our main topic “Second Marriage”.
If a person has 2 marriages then he should pay equally rights to both. If he sleeps one night with one wife then he must have to sleep second night with second wife. If he selects one best thing for one, he should have select same for second and even if he has four wives he should have to pay his liabilities equally to altogether.
There are many examples of second but successful marriages in Islam and Pakistan too. Both wives live in same house distributing work load of home equally and sharing love of their husband equally as well. On the other hand this practice also seen that second marriage destroy life of first wife. More than 80% women are possessive and they do not share his husband in any case.
As her husband did second marriage as her married life is going to ruin. The main reason of failure of this marriage is when first wife is not accepting second marriage of her husband. One this I want to add here is for second marriage, consent of first wife is considers necessary.
Islam allows four marriages, but fake laws of our society do not allow more than one marriage. A man with two wives is not considers as a good person. He is said to be selfish, bluffer, non-sincere and many more like this. It is also said that a person who can leave his first wife he can also leave his second wife on any minor reason. No body tries to understand that person’s feelings. They also do not understand what Islam said to us and what is order of Allah.
If I specifically give opinion about second marriages I also against second marriage. If my husband wants to do this I obviously not allow him to do this because I am very possessive. This is totally matter of my heart. But if I use my mind and follow teaching of Islam then surely I will agree on my husband’s second marriage.
There are many people who are enjoying with one wife even without kids they do not intent to do second marriage because of just one reason that they love their wives very much and are not agree to hurt or leave them at any cost. In other case due to desire for kids or sometimes due to family (parents) pressure a man can lift this step.
Many foreign girls who want to marry Muslim or Pakistani boys are scared just because of second marriage that if their husband did second marriage then what would be their standing?
Dear girls…do not scare It’s a man’s right granted from Allah. If you really love your husband then you should love every thing which your husband likes. Although it is very difficult to accept but not impossible.
Take Care
Sehrish Afzaal
Hi, Now It`s Mishal here...
First of all, thanx a lot Sehrish jani for sharing your opinion and knowledge with us :)
Well well welll..
To be 100% honest, this topic really gets on my nerves...Seriously! I try to be impartial, but NO WAY! This is a subject that I really disagree in any circumstance!
For me theres NOTHING in this universe that one can say that can justify a woman to accept another marriage of her husband, except if theres no love involved from any part and even so, for me it doesn't work at all because no one can be happy like this.
I can`t even imagine something like this without thinking about murdering someone lol. Yes, Im very very much possessive and selfish in this case. I know we have to share many things in life with people etc, but definitely NOT our HUSBAND, aff!
Now I`m gonna pick some sentences that Sehrish said and Im gonna argue and show also my personal opinion (what doesn`t means that is right or wrong, theek? )
- "If you want to protect someone, or she is alone you can marry with her too"
For God`s sake do tell me, What do I have to do if the woman is ALONE? It`s her problem, Im not Mother Teresa of Calcutta to be sooo good at the point of sharing MY (exclusively MINE) husband with anyone else (now my blood is boiling just by thinking hihihi)...
For me this is nothing else than a shameless excuse used by men to make it seems "acceptable". Why do I have to sacrifice my own happiness on favor of a total unknown "alone" woman? Im sorry for her, but NO WAY! For me she can die ALONE, I really dont care!
In Brazil we have a funny way to comment about this: Ema Ema Ema, cada um com seus problemas...lol
* If a person’s wife is not good
Ok, fine! It`s simple! Divorce her and everybody will be happy ;), because nobody is obligated to live with a BAD person, whatever if it`s man or woman.
* or she died
In this case, theres nothing to do..Anyone can get another marriage after become widow..No problem. Normal thing even in west and other religions.
* Or he wants kids but her first wife is not able to give birth
Again, if theres no love involved anymore, they can get divorce and he can get married again and have his kids if he thinks that it`s soooo mandatory. But if he marry a girl and keep his first wife, how can she lives with the guilt of not giving him any KID? How do you think she is gonna feel seeing that her beloved husband is having the kids that she dreamed so much for herself, with another woman? And the most important of all, wheres his love for her??? They can try many other methods before divorce or getting another wife. For me it`s nothing but SUFFERING AND TORTURE!
* Or her first wife is seriously ill etc - Well, if shes SERIOUSLY ill, it`s the best time to show his love for her and give her all support she needs in so difficult times, isn`t? Otherwise, if he doesnt love her, get divorced or wait she dies in last case, then he can marry again.
* If he sleeps one night with one wife then he must have to sleep second night with second wife
Can I KILL now or I need to wait them finish they "intercourse" lol???? AFFFFFF..People please, just Imagine the scene: You the first one, the one who he promised to love forever, who he gave all his love and care, SUDDENLY you will be left behind and you will have to divide your husband with another girl that surely will do with him, everything he used to do with YOU. While you CRY desperately ALONE and destroyed in your room, hes enjoying with the other..Good nah??? Just think about that!
Many foreign girls who want to marry Muslim or Pakistani boys are scared just because of second marriage that if their husband did second marriage then what would be their standing? Dear girls…do not scare It’s a man’s right granted from Allah. If you really love your husband then you should love every thing which your husband likes. Although it is very difficult to accept but not impossible.
Sorry jani I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, but now I really have to disagree with you badly...
Dear foreigners girls, unless you have a "cockroach blood" and you are prone to be a servant, BE SCARED! Yes! You should be..First of all, you are already a "foreigner", "an alien" what is per se a big issue here...Secondly, second wives has no respect from society, imagine if shes foreigner...
And just to conclude my point of view, no one have to love everything that husband likes..NOT AT ALL! One should have their own opinion about everything and think with brain and marriage is all about LOVE, RESPECT (ABOVE ALL) and understanding, but from BOTH PARTS...If this thing will hurt me badly and deeply, WHY should I love this? And if my sooo loved husband is even thinking about getting another marriage, it means that he really doesn`t care about my feelings, right? So why do I have to be worried with his PLEASURE in this case? Naheen Naheen!
Notes:
* I believe that at our Prophet remote time (PBUH), things and conditions were very very different. So what was applicable in this sense at that time, due to many reasons behind this practice, is impossible to apply now. We can`t compare! Now I think the men use this excuse just for their own convenience and just to have "FRESH blood" and sex. What a shame!
* In some countries like in Africa if I`m not wrong, where poligamy is a normal practice even today, some woman do accept this thing as a very normal thing and don`t create any issue, it`s part of their culture and they are raised to accept this from beginning. Well, theres crazy people for everything nah lol?
* HOWEVER we can`t forget that in the rest of the world, MEN keep betraying a lot theirs wives (adultery), even with so far more than four women, but it`s hidden and when the things comes to light, a lot of suffering will affect everyone involved...See that recent case of SOROCABA where the betrayed wife caught her BEST friend (???) in the act with her husband and they did a big BARRACO hehehe! And it happens every single minute, all the time, everywhere...So I can`t decide what is worst! If a man having a "legal" second wife or a man having many "secret" lovers...
Here I`ve found a website that explain this Polygamy thing in a more historical and technical way...Check it out
Anyway, my conclusion is: Most of MEN ARE SAME (not all of course, because theres sincere, honest and good character guys as well, It`s rare, but they exist) everywhere! Shameless by nature! Period!
Afff..Im sorry, I know it isn`t a technical argument, but that`s what I think about all this...Well, I said that it gets on my nerves hehehe!
Thats it!
Now please, leave your comment and don`t forget to visit the Sehrish`s website hein ;)
www.youngverses.weebly.com